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"And the blog is back, but not the blogger."
i don’t know if i can, because to be honest i’m not sure if i know how. but i’ll try, because that’s what we always do to figure things out, we try.
first, learn how not to depend on that person, minimize the contact, convince yourself that you can live without that person (i know you can, believe me). it’s so hard to let go of the person who’d been there in your life for so long. but don’t make your world revolve around him/her. so when the day comes that s/he wasn’t there anymore, you still have your world, alive and still spinning steadily.
second, let go of the feelings, start to detach your self from the emotional connection you have with that person. feelings are the strongest bond and we don’t want that to keep us from holding on. ‘feelings’ is our greatest hindrance because it doesn’t fade easily. memories will haunt you but you shall not be defeated. the sooner you convinced yourself that you must stop feeling attached to that person, the better.
third, tell him/her how you feel, because there’s no better way of freeing yourself from that person than making him/her know how you feel. tell that person everything, because it will help you heal. closure can be found by having a proper communication.
lastly, love yourself. don’t think that you are less of a person because you didn’t end up being with the person you wish to be with. accept that maybe that’s how life is, and it happens to everybody. you’ll be okay. it will be hurtful but you’ll cope. you’ll cry but it will dry up. because hurting is temporary if you chose to be happy.
just like what i read on one of my favorite books, "it is so hard to leave—until you leave. and then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.” nothing is easy, giving up wasn’t easy, but if you’re doing it for a greater purpose, you’re doing it right and it’s worth it. sometimes, it’s so hard to imagine life without the person we wish to grow old with but it doesn’t mean that we can’t live without them. letting go of the hand that you’d been holding on for so long can also mean freeing yourself. and it’s enough reason already. for in life, we must be selfish sometimes so we will not get hurt.
magaganda at gwapo nalang daw gising kapag ganitong oras. so pano ba yan? what hahaha
Just because it's exactly one year after the break up.
365 days after the break up. How long do you have to wait so you would know that everything is over? In my case, it took me several months until finally I realized that the person I loved wasn’t coming back anymore. Just like the other hopeless romantics, I hold on for a very long time because I want her back. I want to make things up with her and tell her how much I love her so maybe she’d fall back into my arms again. But it never happened. She’d been so cold and forgetful; about me, the kisses, the hugs, the memories, the late night conversations, the family bonding, the promises, the happiness, and all of the feelings we have for each other. She forget about me. Yes, she did dumped me that easily.😔
8,760 hours after we decided to end our “almost perfect love story”. ‘Endings are new beginnings’ that’s what people say, but how would you start over after what happened? How did she forget me that easily? After some time I came into thinking that maybe she didn’t really loved me at all. That maybe she loved me but not enough to fight right by my side through it all.
Sometimes I wish she didn’t gave up on me that day :’( ,
she could have waited.😔 The break up could have waited until that day was over. Breaking up with the one you used to imagine your future with on the day of your monthsary celebration seriously? for god sake, tell me how can you be that awful? It was an amazing surprise I think she deserves a standing ovation and an oscar nomination. It was a double kill. It felt like your a dead body and yet someone have still the appetite to murder you. But to be honest, I never felt the pain right in that moment, because when she said that we’re over, my whole being numbed and I swear I almost felt death. And that time I don’t know which is better, to feel all the pain or just be dead?
225,600 minutes after the bad surprise. But I didn’t really want to be dead, I may be an emo but not the suicidal-emotional, just the plain emotional. I tried to feel okay about what happened, because I can’t do anything about it. She made up her mind. Yeah, it’s that easy for her. (sigh)
What hurts the most in knowing all these is the fact that I don’t really know why we came to that point. Because as i’ve said everything was “almost perfect”. Every single day of our relationship isn’t perfect but it’s filled with love and we’re happy, I can tell because I saw it, and felt it, and heard it, straight from her. I saw her smile, I heard her plans about our future, I cherished every hugs, and tasted every kisses, and that tells me that we’d been good for each other as partners, lovers, best friends, and as mister and misis. :’( And I feel so stupid that I believed everything. And also feel bad for myself that until now, I don’t know what’s the story behind it.
13,536,000 seconds after the day we fell apart. It doesn’t matter anymore. Because I lost her and she lost me.
Perhaps we are not really made to grow old together. She may have hurt me this bad, and made me feel like a douche, 😕 and I may have told you what I felt in a very negative tone but I can’t deny that she’s still one of the best persons that i’ve ever met. She have this effect on me that despite everything, I can’t hate her, and I somehow hate that I can’t hate her. Maybe because I know deep down in my stupid heart, that the person that i’m talking about is a really good person. She’s a “surprise-heartbreaker” but still a lovely person. If you could meet her and look at her the way I did, maybe you’d understand how can someone like me be this in love with her. :’)
After 12 months of not being together. This post can never be enough for me to tell everything about her, not even a book can ever be enough to do so. I will never forget all these; about her, about “us”. And now, it’s the part of the blog post where I should end the story.
I want to thank you misis, :') Thank you for loving me and staying with me even if it's temporary. 👊 I'm sorry. :'c I'm glad that we're in good terms now. And yes, we're still friends. I loved you, past tense. I'm okay now because i'm a big boy. :)))
"dating tumblr" yun yung ka-date mo yung tumblr. sundo, nood movie, kain resto, uwi bahay, rak na itu mga ganon. hahah de joke lang.
para saken kasi ang dami na yung “nag iba” sa tumblr. siyempre nagbabago naman talaga lahat given na yon, pero siguro ramdam ko yung “pinagbago” kasi ang tagal ko naging inactive tapos pagbalik ko buglang “BOOOM PANES!”, alam mo yung feeling na hindi mo maexplain pero alam mong may nagbago na hindi mo nagustuhan? ganon. mahirap kasi i-pinpoint eh, pero basta may “kakaibang feeling” para saken.
dati kasi uso yung tinychat, kasi nga gusto mo makita mga tao dito, ayun dun yung bonding tapos excited ka na non ng sobra kapag nakita mo sa personal yung kausap mo. “ang liit niya pala” mga ganyan masasabi mo. ay joke lang. hahahaha tapos yung mga posts kasi dati kahit emoheartsxz, more on personal na buhay. para saken mas okay yun kesa sa mga kung ano anong pinagsasabi mo para lang may makarelate sa posts mo.
dati masigla yung dash, di pa uso yung trending sa twitter, may sarili nang version ng trending topic dito sa tumblr. yung lahat magpopost ng tungkol dun, mag iingay, ganon. basta masaya yon (imagine mo na binigyan ka ng madaming pera ng nanay mo, ganon kasaya). tapos iba yung "friendship" dati eh, kahit puro landian, madami paing tunay na kaibigan dito. :))))
ano pa ba? siguro pagdating sa meet ups, ayon di masyadong uso MU, kaya once na may iannounce na may meet up, super excited kana non, tipong 1pm yung meet up pero 4am palang gising kana. hahahahaha (pero never nangyari saken yon kahit excited ako kasi nga forever late ako. :c)
dati walang fanmail, kaya kapag na whoa there ka, tapos pansamantala ang landian. dati yung “kada" tropa talaga yon, isang barKADA talaga, di katulad ngayon. zz
dati kapag sinabing “art blog”, art blog talaga. kapag sinabing “photo blog” photographer-ish talaga posts mo kahit amateur ka lang etc. i mean may variation yung blogs, hindi katulad ngayon, kung wala na eh.
sobrang dami ko pa masasabi kaso tinatamad nako. hays, ayun kahit tamad kami dati, okay lang yon, walang reklamuhan. mwa
Just because almost no one is online
I am the less important friend. I am that person who have a lot of friends but never felt so close to them. Because I am the problem. I don’t exert efforts for them. I don’t talk to them for weeks and even for months and I can’t explain how I didn’t notice that it’s been that long. But I never forget about them. I always look after them quietly so I don’t have to ask how are they doing with their lives. I still get updates from them by reading their posts. And I believe that’s the art of being connected in an online social network. I watch them have more friends and forget about me. And seeing them meet new friends and be closer to them than how we were as friends, somehow made me feel bad for myself. :( It’s the same feeling you get when you’re in a relationship and you’re thinking that maybe you’re not enough. The worst part of the story is when you are the reason why your friends met their new friends yet they left you. But I get used to that kind of situation. I sometimes think that some people enter my circle just to take away a fraction of it.
It's fair to say that I don't really care that much about that anymore. I already know that in the end none of these will matter. That all these explanations in my mind may not be valid. But i'm very sure that this is how I understand it.
And it’s okay with me because I don’t really demand for a friend. Nobody should demand for one. I completely understand the situation and I know that I have mistakes too —- that I can be the better friend but I chose not to. I don’t want to compete with their new friends because that’s not who I am. And it’s okay with me if they’ll forget about me because technically the way I play my role in their lives, it seems like I forgot about them beforehand.
I believe that friends are important and God knows how much I value my friends even if I my actions to show it falls short. I think friendship is all about being there for your friend no matter what. And in that sense, I don’t always mean that it should be in physical aspect. Because you can always feel for them and no one can take that away. You can always care for your friends even if you don’t verbalize it. Not everyone can show how they love people even if they wanted to because that’s simply who they are. And I believe that it doesn’t make them less of a friend. I can only speak for myself to conclude all these. And having said that I think I have to admit that on some point in my life I know that i’d been a bad friend and I wish I can fix that. I hope my friends will never feel that they’re losing me because I will feel that i’m losing them too.
See? I’m not asking for too much of you as my friend and I hope you won’t replace me, because I will never do that to you even if i could. I wish that even if i’m not the best kind of friend anyone could have, you won’t give up on me. I can’t be perfect but I swear to God i’d be you’re friend for a lifetime. Honest.
kung babae po: kuha po 6 na eggs (native) ilagay sa basket (gawa sa narra) ilagay sa altar bilang alay sa santo. tapos mag novena (in different languages everyday) buong linggo. pag di gumana, iyak nalang po mwa
kung lalaki po: alam na this
Akala kasi nila madali lang maging estudyante.
Hindi man ako yung matuturing na ideal student, hindi naman ako kailanman nagpabaya sa pag aaral. Hindi man ako yung subsob sa pag aaral, nagagawa ko namang pumasa at makakuha padin ng matataas na grades. Hindi man ako yung perpektong estudyante na nasa isip ng iba kapag sinabing "estudyante", pinapahalagahan ko padin naman ang edukasyon. Parte ng pagkatao ko yung napipilitan lang pumasok sa school. Pero alam ko kung ano yung kahalagahan nun kaya nag aaral ako.
Alam ko yung dapat kong gawin. Hindi man yung nakasanayang way ng isang “matinong” estudyante, hindi naman pwedeng baliwalain nalang yung mga sarili kong diskarte bilang isang estudyante. Mahal ko yung parents ko at naiintindihan ko kung bakit ko kailangan gawin yung mga dapat kong gawin sa buhay pero sana wag naman tayong husgahan agad base sa treatment natin sa situations. Dahil tulad din ng iba, may pangarap din ako na gusto kong matupad at alam kong yung pagtatapos ng pag aaral ay isang paraan para maging possible yung pangarap ko.